We spent today with Hailey and her entourage of kidlets for the first time in a really long time! We spent the morning and afternoon chatting and catching up in person while chasing children and drinking coffee. It was such a nice date, and a long overdue one at that. Hopefully we don’t wait that long again, deal?
After they left around 3:30, we put both of our kids down for naps, and essentially ourselves as well. We cuddled up in bed and watched an episode of the Bachelor and just lay low while the house was quiet. We fed Dekker some leftovers when he woke up, watched some TLC, and I chatted on the phone with my mom. It was a nice low key day, really.
While talked to my mom on the phone, I recounted how I was feeling about Dekker’s recovery. I’m having a pretty difficult time actually, because Dekker is not getting used to the drops. He anticipates them, and he is louder and faster and more panicked than he was in the beginning. It would be different if I could just lay him down where he was playing, drop them in, stand him up and keep moving, but his glasses are on with that adjustable strap that makes it take a few extra minutes. I can barely get him to stand still long enough to get the strap off, and by then, he is freaked. I’ve watched him go from crying and fussing to full blown fits. He sees the dropper coming and started hitting the wall, kicking things and us, and thrashing. He’ll make his mouth into weird shapes and bug his eyes out and makes these unnatural noises. It has escalated amazingly, and I find myself fearful of putting his drops in. I know my fear only adds to the situation, but I’m struggling to find the balance between his physical health and his mental health. I feel like these outbursts are pure mania, and are only getting worse and worse. I’m at such a loss. Please pray for us in this. I’m so thankful we’re over halfway through that two weeks of drops (the surgery was last week Tuesday!) but I can’t imagine this continually getting worse and worse for the next several days. It is truly awful.
Going into his room this evening, I was so compassionate towards him. And then he hit me harder than he ever has. It stung for several minutes. I hate punishing him before bed. My heart hurts.
That being said, I’m more tired right now than I thought I would be. Time for supper, a bath, and bed.
My heart is heavy for you! Love you, praying…..
Would it help to phone the doctors office and ask what the other choices are?
I’ll likely be doing that first thing in the morning. He’ll still need some type of antibiotic in his eyes, but if I can just use the ointment instead of the drops, we can at least do that less times throughout the day.