Behold, a tired, blue-eyed boy. He is completely lovely, even when he’s finished and exhausted. Since he’s been facing forward, he doesn’t sleep as well in the car. There is too much to see. I can understand it I think. Not only does Dekker always sleep tons, and really feel it when he doesn’t get enough, but he has finally cut his 16th tooth! He is working hard on teeth right now, which makes him super rosy and adorable and cranky and tired.
He is not the only tired one in this house. Not that I’m complaining! But we’re all feeling pretty wiped. Brady has had a few days off work, and we’ve started a bad cycle of staying up waaay too late! I feel old saying it, but a couple nights in a row of staying up until 1-2am is a huge deal! Also, I’ve felt almost car sick for about two days. I couldn’t tell you why, but it sucks. The way Dekker looks in this picture is the way I feel I look all day long. And I don’t mean the obviously adorable aspect of the picture. I mean the zoned, “not all there” type of expression.
Something that is wearing on me that is ridiculous but true is our freaking water order out here. We have to be boiling our water for EVERYTHING! Before everyone heckles – yes. Our town motto is “Taste our Water.” We’re proud of our water system out here. It is not as though we are ruins and screwed up. Construction is being done around our plant, and tests were taken to ensure the safety of our town while all the digging was happening. When construction started, we were all advised to boil our water, just to keep ourselves safe. Recently, a test came back with E Coli. Our advisory has been changed over to an order. And when I am home, I am overly aware of the water. I am afraid. And being afraid, even when it is on the inside and irrational, if exhausting. I don’t want to live in fear, and I will successfully take care of my husband and son the best way I know how. But every time I hear Brady turn on the water, a sense of panic rises in me. I am on edge.
So tonight, I must defrost chicken to make dinner for a group tomorrow. I often defrost things in a sink of water. In a bag, of course, but still, I’m thinking about it, nervous that any little bit of water could get into the ziploc and poison my friends. I know that the food will be completely cooked and free of any bacteria or risk, but I’m terrified to do something wrong and hurt someone I love!
I can feel my anxiety rising as I write this. Time to relax. I’ll just pull our the chicken and throw it in the fridge for tonight. I’ll figure it out tomorrow. All I need to do tonight is spend time with my boys. We had to wake Dekker from his nap at 7:30pm, and he was completely out cold. So it could make for an interesting next hour or so before bedtime.
Spending the evening breathing in and out…