The Daily Hailey

Going into my appointment today, I was making a big effort to stay calm and not anticipate the worst case scenario. I wasn’t going anywhere too scary in my head. Baby’s movement is still great, which calms my heart every morning when I jiggle my belly around in an effort to wake her up. The scenario i had in my head was being told I had not made an progress since my appointment last week. I was so sure last Thursday was the day. I was sick all day. To be blunt, I had mad diarrhea five times that day. C’mon, some people get that massive clean out before they have a baby, right? But then nothing. So last night, when I started getting the same kind of “sick” I was optimistic to go into todays appointment having made big progress. So my worst case scenario was that I hadn’t.

I don’t know if its even possible, or perhaps my doctor made an error last week, but it would appear I am not as “changed” as we thought. I went from 90% effaced to 50%. I went from 1-2 cms to just about 1 cm. I elected to have a membrane sweep, which she did, and now we keep waiting. I’ve been sick on and off all day, yet clearly that can mean absolutely nothing.

I left the appointment so discouraged. This is probably my most discouraging day yet. And I know I’m being a drama queen! I mean, its not even my due date! What right do I have to be so antsy to just deliver her?? I wasn’t eager this way at all with Dekker. I mean of course I wanted to meet him, but when my due date came and went I wasn’t upset! I was comfortable and loving the pregnant thing. I suppose I feel this way this time mostly because I’m hurting so badly. Add some poop to that and I’m flat out grumpy. I’m so crusty these days, I’m amazed I still have friends. Why do you guys even still read this?! Its not exactly a relaxing read anymore. My anxiety is building, and I know it reads out pretty clearly here. Thanks to those of you who read loyally and care about my situation regardless of my attitude.

After our visit to Saskatoon, we headed home and put Dekker down for a nap. I was pretty cranky and didn’t want to do anything with anyone. I settled for putting in a load of laundry and then laying in bed watching some Netflix. As the evening dragged on, I remained grumpy and antisocial while I learned how to strip our cloth diapers. First half – almost done. The rest will happen tomorrow. Some people stress clean. I anxiety-launder, apparently.

SO! For a POSITIVE aspect of this post…

Our front tree is gorgeous right now. We have a decent amount of mature trees in our yard. I haven’t always liked them, as there are not two alike it seems. It appears they were planted very haphazardly and without any rhyme or reason. However, our front tree is always gorgeous, and has completely skyrocketed in the last couple of years. Its huge, and its just started dropping yellow leaves everywhere. Its so pretty.

Another thing I just want to throw out there is a guess for baby girl. Any wagers on her weight? No, we don’t want to do some monetary bet or anything, just curious. I guessed Dekker would be 9 lbs and I was sooo wrong! I’m just curious what others think 🙂 Pertinent info (that I can think of anyways) is as follows:

Dekker weighed 10lbs 10oz
I weighed 8lbs 14oz
Brady weighed 6lbs 7oz

I have gained 36 lbs this pregnancy
I gained 45 with Dekker’s pregnancy

At 35 weeks, an ultrasound guessed babys weight to be around 6lbs 3oz

Aaaaand GO!

Sleep tight everyone. Please keep the prayers coming. We are anxious and heavy hearted over here, trying pretty hard to keep brave faces on. We are greatly anticipating the arrival of our (as said by my mom) little pinky pink girl, all new and delicious.